


gibby is pissed

by excuezme



Series: the lore of wonston chortle [1]
Category: Dunkirk (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack, High School AU, M/M, This Is STUPID, crack!AU, im high on cough meds, thanks wonston chortle, this is all crack at this point, where gibson speaks only in honhon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 14:44:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17768753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excuezme/pseuds/excuezme
Summary: "what?!"





	gibby is pissed

**Author's Note:**

> a shitty modern high school au that my brain churned out once upon a time and i was motivated to write this because of wonston chortle and i'm procrastinating on writing the actual serious long fic but we'll get there i promise i'm just gonna de-stress a bit so we all can have a good laugh lol this also makes little to no sense, my apologies.  
> Farrier and Collins are seniors, peter and george are freshmen, tommy alex and gibson are sophomores, shivering soldier is their drama teacher, Mr. Fischer.

its a chilly day in some part of England, as Tommy and Gibson walk to their class. 

"well, crazy day today! rehearsals are starting and i'm really excited, innit, Gibby?"

"oui oui honhon"

they run into Alex, who is currently about to ditch class, reaching for his juul.

"hey Alex, mate"

"oh tom... i uh, i wasn't expecting to see you here"

"what on my way to class?"

"uh"

"is that a fuckin juul mate?

"it's uh.. it 's a flash drive."

"i'm not an idiot Alex, i know a juul when i see one. amirite, Gibby?"

"oui hon hon baguette"

"why on earth is he talking like that?" Alex asked, clearly, in a state of shock.

"well, ya  know about the Friday nights n stuff n all that......" Tommy lowered his voice a little "well this time we made a.... well a bet. and Gibby here, lost"

"the fuck kinda bet?"

"well, it was who had the quietest bottom while we were being fucked into oblivion, i obviously could not keep my mouth shut and came so hard i ended up screaming. those two fuckers obviously have experience, they've been hooking up in impossible places since they got together. fuckin bastards."

"ok,that was a lot of information i don't think i was supposed to know......, and i do not know what to do with it."

"you'll have to live with it"

-a couple hours later-

Tommy and Gibson go to the auditorium where the rehearsals are supposed to take place. they put their bags on the ground, and are joined by Collins. 

"so how're ye enjoyin today, eh?" he asked with a cheeky smile

"shut up man, you knew we were gonna lose. fuck off"

"Gibby?" he chuckled

"hon fucking hon baguette je suis croissant." Gibson said in a dead tone, which sent Collins laughing. 

"hon fucking hon" Gibson said

"forget about him, mate. he's a useless one, unlike me"

"hey!-" Collins started defending himself when he was cut off by their director, Mr. Fischer.

"lads and ladies,, we will start with rehearsals today, the costumes will arrive next week. i believe everyone has their parts memorized?" the kids replied with yesses.

"wonderful! now, act 1 scene 1, kindly take the stage "

the rehearsals went on for the rest of the school day, and it was really fun, if you asked Tommy, and oui oui, honhon baguette if you asked Gibson.

"so, you wanna go get something to eat?" Collins asked the group, which was Tommy and Gibson now joined by George and peter.

"yes please, i'm starving." George said and peter agreed. 

"what bout you, Gibby, want some croissants?" Collins laughed

"hon hon fuck baguette je suis fucking hon" 

"gotcha"

"why...... is he speaking like that" peter asked

"yeah he was fine during rehearsal?" George added

"trust me, it's a wild time." Tommy said "wait, don't you two live with us? you should know?" he said a moment later, confused.

"yeah, no. funny story,,,, we moved out a couple weeks ago" peter said

"yeah we thought you wouldn't notice for another month" George said

"you- you huh???" Collins said in confusion. "how did you get everything out????"

"well, Friday nights..... when y'all were busy fuckin around" George said. they exchanged confused glances. "you guys do go very hard though, the sounds are....." his voice faded

"yeah, we moved the couch on the day when you all apparently had a bet on who was the loudest" peter said

"that was an.... experience. we actually ran into Alex eating a bag of chips on his way up"

"we told him y'all were fucking i it wasn't clear for the sounds, but he just nodded?"

"yeah, i think he watches you guys. i imagine it's quite something"

"ok now you ran into Alex doing what, again?" Collins clarified

"he was going up, eating a family sized pack of doritos"

"no wonder i felt someone watching me!" Tommy exclaimed.

"honhon croissant je suis _displeased_ , honhon"

-the next Friday, at home in the evening-

George and peter came to visit for today, they were also a little curious about how things have gotten since they left. Gibson had to talk in honhon for the whole previous week since last week's bet, and everyone, including Tommy, much to his despair, found it extremely amusing.

this day, they didn't have any bets, but they knew what to do, since they now knew that Alex watched them.

"so let's just do our thing then?" Farrier said. sitting on a chair.

"yeah, i guess... nothing much to plan for this time" Tommy said. both of them were deliberately a little loud with that, so that they were within Alex's earshot. 

 _interesting. i guess i'll watch Tommy and Gibby this time_ Alex thought. 

well, finally the time came, there was a lot of tension in the room before that, all about to disappear in a few. Alex was in the kitchen, looking for something to drink in the fridge, when he heard thuds from the room above.

_oh my god they're at it_

the idea to get a drink was abandoned, as he silently made his way to his usual peeping spot. he saw them already undressed, and furiously making out. they stumbled directly to his hiding place, and Gibson opened the door. Alex was shook. before he even had time to think he had already been pulled in, and his shirt was on the floor

"honhon, bitch" Gibson said, before he proceeded to pound both him and Tommy into the fifteenth dimension one by one.

~fade to black~

 

bye bye this is my worst fucking work yet yeet

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this shitty piece, most of it is from headcanons from the crack nsfw channel on discord lmao you guys are something else, also special thanks to Qat who thought of gibby's honhon speech, and Brooke for some reasons.  
> this was complete and utter shite and i take full responsibility for this shitty satirical work. anyways i have school tomorrow and i should probably sleep now.


End file.
